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My Image, My Ass

LA Warman


un un
i pointed to the sky
said pink
you said beautiful
when you are not here
it is the sky
that is here
how quickly we go from last light
to no light at all
my belly is filled with desire
for you bath taken to trim my pussy
your arrival in days and i sleep for you
so when you come back i’ll be rested
and you will come back
and take the rest from me
and you never sleep
100 nights unrested
i got rubbed in the wrong
stopped talking
found new friends
the pumpkin turned green
the turmeric when exposed
to air turned brown
and the color of love
is just a color yr eye can’t see
and when you know
you are in love love is most dangerous
because love operates better below
love understands itself as something
that is fallen into
but when exposed
it’s just a hole the boss wants me to think i cant have a vacation
and the boss could be right because the working relationship is completely
informal no one cares what the brain looks like in love no one cares what the
brain looks like in pain because if you just believed them at the beginning when
they said what they said you wouldnt have to shove the body in the tube and
scan it but we wanted to believe first in the science so second we could have the
product and im begging you to remember all the thousands of times science was
wrong and the things science has tried to prove and is most science just
eugenics i ate the ice cream and i drank the tea and my teeth remind me they
exist the pussy always almost infected imbalance is lesbian they say lesbians just
dont really get stds but they also said bacterial vaginosis wasnt contagious and
she got it then she got it again the chemical ineffective because it killed all the
bacteria and twenty years to live and the tea tree comes all the way from
australia it makes sense that the world is ending it makes complete sense
my pussy sorry and sitting on a diaper
it made me better the tincture i love you so much
because i don’t know you at all
and i maintain wombstringe
my womb is crying because
i didn’t get pregnant most of my life
i have been bleeding from the sore place or other
we are both fainters and my blood reminded the doctor of a cancer and she had
no cure besides test again and again cramp bark we r in pain but to change
means death like they say if we dont bleed we will die sooner i fear that everyone
disappoints me but dont fear that i disappoint every one else i missed his birthday
and i am here in my kitchen does a friend understand the need of their other
friend to be alone in the kitchen what do i lack to keep on like this am i this
desperate to be understood by anyone my most constant cry is that i will be
alone forever not understood and those who try not to know me alleviate a
pressure which plants are cursed and which are not every time someone takes a
DNA test I worry for them because they become a database and is this the cost
of knowing of thinking you know yourself and creating a history of self
i’ll disappoint you but i’ll keep going i say what i don’t want to say but i said it and
i said it again i want to be a purse you put yr coins in i want you to punch my
thigh till it hits my other thigh and i want you to see my leaky body, crave it i want
you to suck at my puss and pop the blackhead out of my back with your teeth
and i want you to pull my hair right out of my head until there is nothing left
i want your purple and your orange i want you when you taste like decay and in
the morning after the coconut kava lube when my smell goes through my jeans
and feet across till the smell is on everyone i let the hair on my nipple grow and
grow till it stopped and it knew when to stop and how did body know when to stop

LA Warman is a poet and performer. She is the founder of GLASS PRESS, a publisher of art and poetry on flash drives. Warman has had work in shows at MOCA Cleveland, ICA Philadelphia, Time-Based Art Festival, General Public Collective, Flying Object, and Open Engagement. Warman is the author of Whore Foods, an erotic novella. Her chapbooks How to Become a Lesbian and THE CAVE THE CHURCH THE BEDROOM THE MALL were published by Inpatient Press and After Hours Ltd.  She teaches Erotica classes online and in Brooklyn.