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Insults for the Space Station

Mark Leidner

Insults for the Space Station

 

Nerd Eden

Dweeb Valhalla

Trillion-dollar oxygen bubble

Temple of withering muscle

Low orbit/rate-of-sex zone

Food court w/a lab

Greenhouse w/o flowers

Aluminum Olympus

Tin can outhouse

Xenogym

PhD hive

’naut yacht

Gondola to nowhere

Floaty science dungeon

Chariot of Solitude

Immersion therapy pod for the phobia of supratmospheric observation

Tetris-ass piece-ass looking-ass space-sleigh

Icarus the teacup

Orbital fedora

NASA’s folly

Interplanetary colonialism’s inevitable on-ramp

Apotheosis of human hubris

Diadem in the crown of globalism

Space-jerk club hut

Brokeback birdcage

Zero-g bell-jar

Airborne lobster trap

Rocketeer shithouse

Solar panel-plated psychodrome

Snob oasis

Galactic detritus

The nastiest satellite

Lucifer’s penthouse

Peapod with a crew

Vacuum-sealed tanning bed

Garbage barge of voluntary aliens

Environment in which hourglasses are useless

Wannabe moon

Tower of Babel 2

Rickety, persnickety, malodorous, incommodious, rinky-dinky trinket of pan-national dreamery